A few months ago, I shared two starting chapters that I wrote for one of my current projects, The Changeling Prince. Today, I want to share with you one of the very first things I wrote when I started getting into creative writing: The original first chapter of Of Voyages and Virtues.
Back then, this project was called Seas and Stories. The first chapter is very different, but a lot of the overall story elements actually remain the same. It focuses on individuals called on an overseas expedition due to their ‘expendability’. And while my current plans are much more fleshed out, the core is the same.
The first chapter, however, is not. Currently, the characters are starting out on the boat, in the midst of their journey. This lets me start the action right away without a lot of fluff. In the OG draft, we pick up waaaaaaaay before this point, when both characters get the initial call to head to the ship.
The gist of the feedback I received on all subsequent sections was “Please hurry and get them to the boat!” All my friends wnated to get to the action, which was nowhere to be seen. Eventually, I took this to heart, scrapped everything I had written, and started fresh with the chapter that now starts my manuscript.
Obviously, I like my new start much more, but I have a lot of nostalgia for the original start. So much that I decided to share it here with you all, despite how bad and flawed it is.
Enjoy!
Chapter One: Letters
Sirene glanced up from her reading at the sound of a crisp knock on her front door. She jumped, surprised to get a visitor this late in the evening, and pushed her chair back from the herb-covered table. She went to the door and opened it up, revealing a man in a crisp uniform with a bag slung over one shoulder. It was a stark contrast to her own outfit, a simple blue cotton dress with mid length sleeves.
“Sirene Sunshard?” the courier said, standing up straight as the door was opened.
“That’s me,” Sirene replied. “What is it? Is something wrong?”
“No, miss, just a letter from the High-Lord himself.” He pulled a sealed letter from his bag and held it out to her.
“What about?” she asked, hesitantly grabbing the letter, a feeling of dread filling her. The courier shrugged.
“Not my job to know, miss. Just to deliver.” He turned and left, walking through the small yard in front of Sirene’s house before mounting his horse and leaving her alone with her thoughts and a letter.
She popped off the official seal—an osprey flying high over ships in a harbor—as she walked back into her house, going back to the table. She unfolded the letter, still standing.
Miss Sunshard,
As I am sure you know, the Empire of Toltes has recently discovered a new and uninhabited continent unclaimed by any other nation. Due to your medical training and expertise, you have been chosen to be a part of the new continent’s exploration and colonization team, recently named Kadnen by the court.
You are expected to show up for duty in two weeks at the HLS Symphony docks in Harton, where you will leave for the journey. You are allowed one trunk of clothes and personal effects and one for whatever medical supplies you currently have. The rest of the goods will be supplied for you. Please seek out Captain Lenora Truthspirit or Commander Amanth Bloodgem, who is presently stationed in Harton, if you have any questions.
We appreciate your involvement in this monumental achievement for the Empire.
His majesty, Emperor Liaf Clandown
Sirene slowly sank down into her seat, staring down at the letter, a sense of dread filling her. She drew in a shaky breath, the musty smell of dried herbs filling her nose. She ran her hand through her hair, disrupting her bun that kept it out of her face. I can’t believe this. I knew that they needed people to explore the new continent, but never could I have imagined…
She sighed, but looked up, determined to be steadfast. She knew that she was picked for two convenient reasons: first, herbs and healing knowledge. Few were classically trained like she was. Most in the medical community people were moving away from spices and traditional means and focusing on researching the new ‘modern’ forms of medicine. Her knowledge of plants would be essential on a new continent, where newer advanced methods couldn’t be readily available. She would probably be asked to do cataloging of local plants in addition to being a medic.
The second was less flattering. Even though she was barely in her 20s, most women her age, and much younger than her, were married. But the death of her parents at a young age had forced her to worry about other matters, which is why she so thoroughly immersed herself in her studies. She was, in the eyes of the empire, expendable. No one would notice if she disappeared over the vast sea, except for her neighbor, who so desperately wanted to expand his yard.
The reasons made sense from an external perspective, but, why her? All she had ever wanted to do in her life was help those around her. It had taken her years to get to the point she was at. An herbalist in a city just a few days journey from the capital. But now, she was being asked to head to Harton, the largest port city in the empire, to travel across the vast sea on a journey she may never return from?
Part of her wanted to march right up to the capital city and demand to stay, but she knew that would be futile. One does not go against High-Lord Liaf Clandown. It would be in her best interest to keep her head low, prepare well, and show up on time, praying to the gods for her safe return as soon as possible.
Sirene forced herself to not cry. Instead, she decided she would do what she did with all the problems that came her way. She would endure. She survived the death of her parents. She survived getting rejected from school, rigorous training under one of the top herbalists in the Empire, and years of living alone. She would survive this.
…I hope.
~~~
Eitan glanced about the intersection before he dipped down the alley, being careful not to be spotted by any guards. He knew he must have looked a little odd, a young man in clothes a little too big for him that had obviously been patched up multiple times. At least he had the decency to keep clean and keep his dark hair neat, unlike some of the other street boys he knew. He walked as fast as he could without seeming suspicious down the dark walkway, searching for the one person who could grant him salvation. If he wasn’t lying, that is.
Eitan jumped to the side as he saw movement coming from what looked like a pile of discarded burlap at the edge of the alley. He suppressed a yelp and turned, looking as the bundle moved, revealing old man Hoggle, who let out a wheezing laugh.
“I almost got you there, Trey,” he laughed, wrapping the burlap around him a little tighter.
“Eitan,” he corrected. “Not Trey. Trey’s a wanted man. I have a new life now.”...If you listened to me…
“You’ll always be wanted, boy, Trey or not.”
Eitan rolled his eyes. “What did you find, Hoggle?”
The old man held out his hand. “Ah ah ah. Payment first. You outta know how the streets work by now.”
He suppressed another eye roll and rustled through the sewn-in pockets of his pants, looking for the golden chunks he had put in there earlier. He eventually found them and offered the chunks, coins that were two-thirds of a circle, to Hoggle. It had taken him a while to find enough chunks.
Like many people on the streets, Hoggle was superstitious. His quirky idea of that was to do his best to avoid chips, the smallest denomination of currency, and disks, the largest. It made dealing with money around him hard since everything needed to divide evenly into chunks. Hoggle squinted at the coins and turned them over, then, seeming to be satisfied, put them into a bag around his neck. Then he gestured for Eitan to come closer. Eitan obliged, holding his breath to avoid the old man’s killer halitosis.
“The HLS Symphony is leaving the Empire in two weeks ta explore that new continent. It’s a closed crew, but I know a guy who could slip you on.”
“Really?” Eitan asked, raising a brow in suspicion. “Who?”
“Commander Amanth Bloodgem is leading the expedition. One o’ the men below her, Squad Leader Pistow, worked underground with me before he was almost caught trading illegal substances and was sent to military training by his father, where he shaped up pretty quickly. What’a shame that was, they beat all the fun outta him. It just so happens that Pistow is looking for expendable men and owes me a favor. I figured you are pretty expendable.” He chuckled at that and pulled out a dirty envelope from under his burlap clothes. Eitan tried not to think how long it had been hidden as he grabbed the letter.
“If you can manage to get over to Harton, you’re a free man.”
Harton. That was only a few days journey away from where he was holed up. About a week if he hitchhiked properly.
Eitan gripped the letter. “Thank you, old man.”
Hoggle smiled, revealing his few remaining teeth. “Don’t mention it, boy. I’ll let your pop know that you’re safe once I know for sure that you’re gone. Don’t want him to keep looking for a boy a couple’a thousand miles away.”
Eitan nodded distractedly, not wanting to think about his father at all and the crimes he was forced to commit that had ruined his life. He would never go back to that man and his life in the guild. That was in the past. And now, he had a future.
Wooh boy! I hope you like a lot of telling and not showing! That was hard to read…
The events above are still canon, I suppose, since the backstories of Sirene and Eithan (there’s an ‘h’ now!) haven’t changed. A lot of the backstory detail will come out as the plot progresses. This is a fine first attempt, but I would write it MUCH differently now. This is very much an armature chapter, but that’s what happens when you’re 15 years old!
…This chapter is almost 10 years old.
It’s great to see that I’m capable of growth, and I hope you all enjoyed this glimpse into some of my very early attempts to start the project that would come to mean so much to me.
This content was written and created by a human, without the use of any artificial intelligence tools. The authors do not authorize this article’s usage in training AI tools. We proudly support the original works of creators and individuals over technology that steals and manipulates original content without consent of creators.
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